Caught Cheating

Has cheating rocked the foundation of your marriage or relationship? Surviving infidelity is difficult, but not impossible provided you have the right information.

Infidelity is defined as any violation (whether physical, sexual or emotional) of the rules that were agreed upon by two people as boundaries for their relationship. Infidelity is a significant breach of the faith and trust by a partner; it is a betrayal of the values that were once created by the couple. In plain terms, infidelity is the act of unfaithfulness by a husband or a wife, boyfriend or girlfriend. And yes, it does inflict pain, not only to the spouse who has to endure the betrayal, but also to anyone involved in the situation. Infidelity hurts thousands of relationships every year, so how do we avoid and survive infidelity?

Surviving infidelity starts with knowing the different types of infidelity so that you can understand what you are facing.

Five Types of Infidelity

1. Opportunistic infidelity happens when a partner or lover is in love and attached to a spouse or to a lover, but then surrenders or expresses their sexual desire for someone else. These circumstances increase when the partner or lover is driven by situational or risk-taking behavior.
2. Obligatory infidelity occurs when one partner often avoids, refuses or denies the other’s sexual advances, which can eventually lead to feelings of insecurity, unworthiness and rejection. The spouse experiencing the rejection might turn to cheating, simply out of the need for approval and acceptance, despite the fact they may still hold a strong intimate attraction for their spouse.
3. Romantic infidelity happens when the partner who cheated has fallen out of love with his/her spouse or partner.
4. Conflicted romantic infidelity occurs when a person has fallen in love with another partner or partners with whom they are romantically and/or sexually involved, while still retaining a strong sexual desire and love for their spouse.
5. Commemorative infidelity happens when the person has completely fallen out of love with their spouse or partner, yet they are still in a committed relationship with them.

So now you know the types of infidelity, but what can you do about them? One way of handling problems within a marriage or an actual betrayal by you or your spouse is to know everything there is to know about how you are feeling and why this happened. If you are unsure about a possible betrayal by your spouse, the first step is to actually know for sure if an affair is actually happening.

Once you have this information, it’s imperative that you figure out how you truly feel about it. Knowing what is at the root of the crisis will not only help you survive infidelity but also help you learn to work out any differences and issues with your partner, which can result in a more open, trusting and infidelity free marriage.

If it’s your goal is surviving infidelity, saving your marriage and working through these problem together, start by actually talking to each other again. Have more ‘us’ time and try to reconnect. Listen to what he or she wants and needs and discuss these wants and desires with your partner. Whatever you do, don’t try to struggle through this alone. Get the #1 way to save your marriage that has been helping couple reconcile for many years. Good luck rekindling the love you two once shared. You’ll make it if you know the right way!